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The only gift you really need

by | Dec 3, 2019 | Community, expectations, Family, parenting, Postpartum, Real Talk Tuesday, Self-Care | 0 comments

I just spent a solid half an hour ranting on my personal Instagram about the backwards culture of The Holidays as we know them in our current society. Black Friday this, Cyber Monday that, dozens of emails claiming to have the only gift you REALLY need this season. This Brand Name contraption will solve this problem you don’t actually have, but ACT FAST because supplies are LIMITED! Fear mongering, left and right! All these ads are implying that you’re not enough/don’t have enough without this product or that product.


Let me fill you in on a little secret. You don’t need any of that crap. Until maybe someday you do need a thing or two and then you can get that item no problem from your nearest retailer. But until that day…you don’t need any of that crap. What you need, what I need, what we all need right now and every day, year round, is human connection.

the only gift you really needAnd since your inbox isn’t going to tell you, I will: You are doing an exceptional job at being a mom to your little one AS YOU ARE NOW. I promise. You know when your baby is hungry. You can tell when they are on the verge of needing a nap – they do that back arching thing when you try to hold them, or the thing with the staring off into space and the extra-long blinks. You know when they’ve had enough of Auntie So and So making faces at them, trying to get them to giggle. You know your baby, those name brand must-have baby items DO NOT. Trust yourself.

Holidays are a rough time of year for many people. I am one of those people – for reasons we don’t need to get into in this very public blog post – but I am willing to bet we share some of the same reasons why you and I both feel stress at this time of year. Well, I’m here to tell you that if you need a place to commiserate, to share your struggles and your successes, to bitch about your extended family to people they will never meet, or lament the fact that you haven’t slept for more than 4 consecutive hours in the past 4 months WE’RE HERE FOR IT – not just in the holiday season, but all year round. Whether your baby is 10 weeks old or 10 months old, whether you have a toddler and a newborn or even if you just dropped your 3 year old off at his first day of daycare and you need a hug before you head to work WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.

I’ve been a grump about most holidays for many years because growing up, I was always the one who wanted to show my gratitude for all the wonderful people in my life in thoughtful and meaningful ways. So, naturally, people around me started asking me for ideas for a gift for this person, and that person – which, at first I was more than happy to help with. But then it turned into a forced charade of gratitude. I’m not into charades. I’m into authenticity and genuine human connection.

My point is: you are doing a great job, as you are, with what you already have – you don’t have to prove it to anyone except maybe to yourself. So take care of yourself, friends. This holiday season, show your gratitude or celebrate family and friends in ways that feel good to you. You deserve it.